Damaged

I feel as if I am on a never ending expedition all alone. A quest to fill a void in my life that never seems to stay filled for long. Like a cup with a whole in the bottom, it only stays full temporarily and then it's empty again. Sometimes someone just comes by and re-fills it and knocks it over and it takes some time for the cup to be standing back up again. I have been hurt so many times by guys and I don't want to mess up this time. I just want someone to love me for who I am flaws and all.

My heart is at such a low. The past few nights I have been unable to sleep and having crazy dreams. I need someone to hold me though the night and show me that everything is going to be alright. There is only one disadvantage I have been damaged. Inside I am filled with scars and remembrances of past hurt, that make it hard for me to manage.

Sometimes I might look through your stuff for what I don't want to find. I know that sounds crazy doesn't it. Why would I look if I don't want to find. But I guess I would

rather know as early into the game as possible so it's kind of my way of protecting myself; or maybe I just might set you up just to see if you're all mine. I guess I'm a little paranoid from everything that I have been through, so before you say you want to be with me you need to know what you're getting yourself into…. It's nothing against you but I just hope that you will hang through……