A Battle Nearly Lost…..

These past few days I have felt this disease enveloping my body. Like a blanket that covers you to keep you safe and warm. But this disease doesn't want to keep me safe and warm at all. I think back to poems I have written from similar times, poems I have written about this enemy attacking me from within. Many of them about just letting go and giving in, I sit here alone and wonder if it's my time to go. Deep in thought body filled with pain wondering which would be easier. Just giving up and relieving myself of this pain but wondering the pain it would cause those who love me. On the other hand I could just continue to find my last ounces of inner strength and continue to fight this battle. Tears flow down my face stinging my cheeks; as flashbacks cross my mind of the promises I made to loved ones. Promises to never give up; to continue to fight till the last breath exits this body. I pain stakingly lay down on a nearby couch and curl up into a fetal position. Desperately I want the comfort of the only person I have ever loved to be there with me, to hold me and show me that there will be a better tomorrow. But deep in my heart knowing this is only something of a dream, and I am here alone. Once again to fight for what I don't know the reason…..